Axel vs Animal Cell
by ih8tevy1
Summary: Axel has fallen asleep in Vexen's class for the LAST TIME! BWAHAHAHHAHHAHAH!


'elllo! I wrote this for Biology class, lol got an 'A' that's right ,suckers! This is my first time posting so it will probably suck! :3 ('fanfare') Anyway hope you enjoy this.

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**Axel and the Animal Cell**

"Axel…" drawled the teacher.

"mmmphh…purple froggy muffin apple…zzzz"

The vein in Vexen's forehead began pulsing dangerously just before he finally screamed. "AXEL!!!"

Finally the redhead was jerked back the land of the living. "Wha?!"

Quirking an eyebrow Vexen replied. "You…have slept through MY ENTIRE CLASS!!"

Axel winced at the screaming scientist

"When am I ever going to use this Biology crap in real life anyway." He muttered as he began to gather his bag.

And at that the proud scientist lost it. Eyes bulging he walked over to the door quickly locking it as he began to chuckle darkly. "I have not dismissed _you_, Axel"

"No way! Schools over man!"

"Bwahahahahahah!!!"

"NOOOOO!!!! MY Weeeeek Ennnddd!!!!!"

"Silence Fool!"

"Now that you are properly restrained." He began nodding approvingly at the ropes & duck tape holding Axel from bolting. "You will be testing my newest experiment/teaching method! You will be shrunk to the point where I can place you in a cell, which by the way is what we were discussing today in class.""

"So what? I'm your _guinea_ _pig_ now?! Cruel and unusual punishment! I am _so_ turning you in!" threatened Axel.

"Pfft! As if anyone will believe you." Chirped the scientist happily as he jumped out of the utility closet rolling a large, laser looking device.

"Whoa what are you gonna…..HEY DON'T POINT THAT AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poking his head out from behind the now humming contraption Vexen gave Axel a hard look. "Stop being a _baby_. Now, any last words?" he asked grinning manically.

"You are _insane_." Axel stated solemnly

"Wrong answer!" giggled Vexen as a bright blue beam shot across the room piercing the redhead through his chest. Vexen laughed madly as Axel began to shrink. Quickly the scientist ran over and picked Axel up before he got too small then plopped him under the microscope. Smirking he put on a headset.

"Axel?"

"No, it's the _Easter_ _bunny_." muttered the redhead sarcastically.

"Subject appears to respond normally. noted the scientist routinely. "I trust the laser had no _unexpected_ side effects."

"Why is this happening to me?!" moaned Axel pitifully.

"You questioned the _usefulness_ of SCIENCE!" screamed the proud blonde with righteous indignation.

"So, you SHRUNK ME?!!!"

"New teaching method." replied Vexen simply.

"What the Heck?!!"

"Today Class we will be _exploring_ the cell. Proceed with caution."

"……"

"Axel can you see the cell?"

"You mean the squishy thing that looks like what they were serving for lunch today?"

"…….Yeeeaahh, that's it. Now I want you to go inside it."

"I can't it's got a weird _mushy_ coating."

"That is called the 'Cell Membrane,' and it regulates the materials that enter and leave the cell. FYI don't push on it though cause….."

'**SQUISH'**

"Opps… _EWWW_ it's all _SQUISHY_!!!! I feel like I just jumped into a pool full of jello!"

"The _jello,_ as you referred to it, is called 'Cytoplasm' and it is a gel-like cell part that bathes and contains the organelles."

"This is kinda nice. Lookit, I can do cool, zero gravity spins!"

"Axel, can you guess what kind of cell you are in?"

"…There are….. different kinds?"

"Yes Axel, and do you know why you don't know this?"

"I slept through your class." mumbled the red head

"Precisely."

"Umm…. Vexen?"

"I will _of course_ be willing to accept your apology."

"No umm, Vexen."

"But only once you have written a 5 page essay on science and its _usefulness_." continued Vexen smugly.

"VEXEN!!!!"

"Oh _what_ is it Axel?!"

"I'm being chased around by BIG balls of GOO!!"

"Oh."

Vexen returned his gaze to his microscope.

"Those would be the Lysosomes. They get rid of unnecessary things within the cells."

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Don't be such a baby. Uh….Ok make a right at that…no wait, just head towards that really big blob in front of you!"

"That is the _biggest_ _freakin_ _blob_ in this whole dang _cell_!"

"Yes it is called the Nucleus try to lose the Lysosomes in the tunnel looking thing next to it. It's called the Rough Endoplasmic Reticulum."

"WHOA!!! Where do I go in here?!"

"Turn left… Oh for cryin…NO YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!"

"Phew! We lost em." sighed Axel.

"You're an imbecile." stated Vexen plainly.

"Aww come on Vexy it wasn't that bad."

"You almost destroyed the Rough ER."

"AL-MOST."

"Yeah well now you must continue through the tunnels. You should reach the Nucleus within the next little bit."

"Hey Vexen? Why is it called the _rough_ ER?"

"Look closely at the tunnels and you will notice the round bumps jutting from the walls. Those are ribosome and they create protein."

"_Ahhh_. Does that mean that there is a _Smooth_ ER too?"

"Actually yes, it looks just like the _rough_ ER with the exception of the ribosome, it is the site of many cellular chemical reactions."

"_Seriously_?! Cause I was just joking."

"I'm going to let you be digested by the Lysosomes." answered Vexen flatly.

"Won't that be a little hard to explain to my 'rents?"

"…Drat."

"Ha ha."

"You are almost out of the Rough ER. After the next turn you will see the Nucleus."

"Wooow! Freakin sweet!"

"The Nucleus is the control center for the cell, and it's got a nuclear membrane surrounding it which works like the cell membrane that you _blundered_ through earlier so don't do anything…."

'**SQUISH'**

"…stupid." finished Vexen with a dramatic sigh.

"_Opps_…WHOA!!!!! WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Axel you are _really_ going to have to learn to be more specific." drawled the scientist.

"No seriously there is like, this _giant_ pretty blob just _chilling_ out in here!"

"That is called the Nucleolus. It produces and partially assembles ribosomes."

"Then what are those giant thread things and then there are these little other cylinder looking blobs floating around."

"Well, the thread things are called chromosomes and they are

"So you mean like DNA, right?"

"Yes quite, and the 'other cylinder looking blobs' as you expressed are called Centrioles, and they help organize cell division."

"What's 'Cell division'?"

"Cells reproduce by splitting themselves in half."

"Cool."

"Alright Axel since you cannot go back through the way you came. You must find one of the other exits."

"Oh crap."

"What's next Vex-man?"

"I want you to look around and find a Mitochondria they resemble giant pills, and they act as power houses for the cell by transforming energy."

"So it's a convertor? It makes energy for the rest of the cell body to use. Like a metabolism."

"Exactly."

'_Axel does a happy dance cause he got it right.'_

"There are only two more organelles that you need to see. The Vacuole is next. It serves as a temporary storage compartment for the cells."

"What do cells need to store?"

"Water, salts, proteins, and carbohydrates."

"Cool."

"Okay Axel, the last organelle is the Golgi apparatus and it sorts and packages proteins."

"Is it the one that looks like a bunch of smooshed together pancakes?"

"Axel, I believe you are hungry and hence your judgment is lacking and therefore I will let it slide that you are comparing the _building blocks of life_ with a bread disk."

"Sheesh! Someone is touchy."

"Alright Axel time's up. The shrink ray's affects should be wearing off any moment now."

'**POP'**

"It's going to take weeks for me to get all this cell goo out of my hair." complained Axel as he fingered his now dropping spikes."

"You complain far too much." "Now isn't there something that you would like to take back?"

"Like what?"

"If I recall correctly prior to this lesson you stated. "When am I ever going to use this Biology crap in real life anyway?"." quoted Vexen smugly.

"To be fair, not many kids are going to get zapped by their psycho science teachers and sent on a Journey to the Center of the Cell."

"Don't act as though it wasn't enjoyable."

"Next time _sir_, why don't we just stick with a _video game_ instead?"

"……"

"Vexen?"

"I didn't consider that."

Axel has passed out on the floor, and Vexen is leaving for his weekend.

"I still want that essay, Axel." called Vexen as he shut his classroom door behind him.

"mmmphh…purple froggy muffin apple…zzzz"

THE END

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Yes, I am a firm believer in the healing powers of Yaoi! Axel and Roxas FOREVER!!! :3 rate and reveiw if you feel like it.

-ih8tevy1


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